Being in a committed relationship has many rewards. You get to share experiences with someone you’re attracted to; you never have to worry about being alone; you always have a date for parties. However, there are some drawbacks I think we can all agree on.

For instance, being in a monogamous relationship sometimes makes a sex life turn stale. After several years of sleeping with the same person, you may become familiar with what your lover wants and needs in the bedroom. On the other hand, you both may become bored with one another and thus allow temptations to get the best of you.

Enter the solution: modern-day sex toys. Thanks to the efforts of thousands of innovative perverts, contemporary scientific advancements have ushered in some of the most interesting self-pleasure gadgets the world has ever seen. And considering the fact that sex toys have been around since the dawn of mankind, I’d say it’s about damn time.

What Is a Sex Toy?

Technically, any inanimate object that provides a person with sexual pleasure can be classified as a sex toy. In ancient Greece, men would use stale bread as jerk-off fodder, slapping on a little olive oil for lubrication. Before that, women fashioned dildos out of stone or chalk and God only knows what they used to lube up that monstrosity. What I’m saying is this: the definition of a sex toy is somewhat subjective.

With that said, legit sex toys are typically made from more skin-friendly materials such as silicone, latex, polycarbonate or TPE. They’re also significantly more high-tech, with luxury models having features such as Bluetooth compatibility, Sync Motion Technology, and Virtual Reality capabilities. Those features, albeit intimidating to the average Joe/Jane, are what have transformed modern-day sex toys from taboo tools of desperation to delectable devices of debauchery.

Are There Are Toys Designed Specifically for Couples?

Because of the unique design of some of the sex toys now available to the public, couples can now achieve a new kind of orgasm with a willing partner regardless of physical ability or proximity. Many of today’s toys are made to require little effort on the user’s part, meaning they’re almost fully automatic. Furthermore, the specific features mentioned above (Bluetooth, VR, Sync Motion) are all geared towards couples engaging in long-distance relationships.

With the right tools, it’s now possible to have real-time sexual experiences with someone halfway around the world without leaving the comfort of your own home. Interestingly, these futuristic devices make a good investment regardless of a person’s relationship status. You see, many couple’s sex toys are designed to accommodate a bad breakup, meaning that they sometimes include things like solo modes and online or downloadable porn content as well. Talk about getting you by in a pinch, eh?

The What Ifs

Navigating the wonderful world of couple’s sex toys can be infuriating or, in many cases, downright expensive. While there’s bound to be a little trial and error throughout the hunt for your ideal device, that doesn’t mean you should have to liquidate your assets to bust a decent nut. Am I right?

In my experience, preparation is key. Knowing what to expect can be very helpful when the almighty dollar is at stake. So, without further ado, let’s go over a few “what if” situations to help get you ready for the long-haul:

What If My Partner and I Are the Same Sex?

I have good news for all you LBGTQ rock stars: most of today’s couple’s toys are made in such a way they can work in unison with both their male and female counterparts. For instance, the Kiirro duo, Onyx (male) and Pearl (female), operate together via a Bluetooth connection whether that be two Onyxes, two Pearls, or a combination of both. They only thing they can’t do is make you a sandwich and perform in a threesome (but that’s probably coming next).

What If One of Us Doesn’t Have the Right Equipment?

That brings me to my next point: If both people don’t have compatible toys or the correct equipment, you can kiss that convenient, revolutionary orgasm goodbye. Seriously though, you’ll likely just have to stick with simpler sex toys that have couples-friendly features built right in. Either way, having the right stuff directly affects the pleasure you’ll derive from any modern-day sex toy you buy.

What If We Break Up and He/She Keeps Their Toy?

Considering the fact that many high-tech couple’s toys require a Bluetooth connection, one might question whether an ex can still access your online porn content or activate features on your toy from afar. The short answer: No, they can’t. The long answer: Err on the side of safety by changing your internet login information after you split.

# Ways to Get Your Partner on Board with the Sex Toy Thing

But let’s not talk about breakups at a time like this, especially not when there’s so much bumping and grinding left to do. Couple’s toys were invented to enhance the physical and emotional connection between lovers. Let’s all have a moment of silence for the people who still don’t understand that. . .

Having trouble convincing your partner that buying a couple’s sex toy is a good idea? I’ve got you covered. Check out some of my (hopefully) fail-proof tips and tricks below:

Find a Coupon on Discount Code to Lower the Price

If your reluctant lover is suffering from sticker shock (which is relatively normal), ease their mind by tracking down a discount code or coupon to knock back the dollar demons. Some manufacturers have regular sales or routinely offer incentives to people who subscribe to their newsletters or engage in product memberships.

Make It All About Them

Before agreeing to anything, most people want to know “What’s in it for me?” Although the appeal may be obvious to some, other folks may be taken aback by the terms “sex toy,” “vibrator,” or “dildo.” So, while changing the verbiage up a tad, also mention all the things that will benefit them and the relationship (besides a bunch of kick-ass orgasms, of course).

Promise to Keep It on the Low

Talk your lover into traipsing down the well-worn path of couple’s sex toys by informing him or her that a vast majority of manufacturers ship their products in unmarked boxes and are listed on bank statements as something innocuous. Furthermore, many toys are designed specifically to blend in with natural surroundings, while others come with discreet storage containers so nobody has to know about your dirty little habits.

WDon’t speak up at that party until you read this in its entirety! At some point, somebody is bound to bring up the topic of sex toys and you’ll need to be prepared. This is especially true if you happen to be a male, simply because self-pleasure devices haven’t always been available for dudes.

Being among the few men who knows what’s out could be considered a privilege, so wield your wisdom carefully. Let’s make sure you didn’t miss anything, shall we? After all, nobody likes conversational blue balls, not even that weird guy hunkered down by himself in the corner.

What Is a Male Sex Toy?

They say that anything can be a sex toy if you’re brave enough. And while there may be some truth to that, it’s usually a better idea to stick with objects that are innately designed to produce orgasm. Those “objects” are referred to as “sex toys,” and they’re made for men, women and couples (including those super freaky couples who never get invited to the party).

As for male sex toys, they’re designed a bit differently than your run-of-the-mill female vibrator or dildo. Most feature a specifically shaped orifice that’s usually made to resemble a vaginal opening or anal canal. They all have various sized sleeves and some of the best manufacturers have even incorporated textures into theirs in an effort to improve sensations.

Male sex toys, on average, are made from extremely durable materials that are skin-safe and hyper-realistic. However, there’s always an exception to the rule. Even some of the big-name brands put out pieces of shit from time to time, so it pays to do your due diligence when shopping for a dick device regardless of the brand’s reputation.

Humble Beginnings: A Brief History of Male Sex Toys

Male sex toy manufacturers didn’t have to work very hard to get the reputations they have, mostly because men are horny ALL THE TIME. Show them something that will jerk them off with minimal manual effort and you’re an overnight millionaire. Such is the case for many of today’s sex toy brands, but I digress.

The reality is that fake vaginas and asses have been around for nearly as long as masturbation itself, although society’s ability to talk openly about it hasn’t always been up to par. It wasn’t even until the 1960s that public sex shops were dubbed legal in the United States. Talk about behind the times! There were some humble beginnings to speak of, though, especially since masturbation has long been considered sinful and taboo.

Back in the day, the best a man thought he could get was a willing palm or a homemade fifi made from a tube sock and hopelessness. Before that, the desperate men of ancient Greece would use stale bread to beat their meat, slapping on olive oil as a lubricant. Fortunately, a few decades ago brought the winds of change. A perverted police officer with too much testosterone and too much time on his hands decided to invent the famous Fleshlight and the rest is history. Seemingly busting down the doors between male sexuality and shameless self-pleasure, other companies soon followed suit and now we have more male sex toys on the market than we know what to do with. Sometimes when you win, you lose.

What’s Going on These Days?

Speaking of losing, it’s possible for a man to lose his damn mind once he realizes the sheer volume of choice on today’s sex toy market. These days, male masturbation is not only considered perfectly acceptable but it’s also thought of as healthy and helpful to a relationship. As a result, there are literally tens of thousands of toys available, from low-tech pocket pussies to high-tech auto-blow machines with Bluetooth and virtual reality capabilities.

Thanks to the digital revolution and the invention of the internet in 1990, there has been an incredible shift in how men choke their chicken. The worldwide web opened up a brand-new world for fans of debauchery, and I’m not just talking about online porn. Now, men can enjoy that very same pornography while reaching climax alongside their favorite lover or porn star without any personal interaction whatsoever– and all this, complete with realistic movements, textures and regulatable “body” temperatures.

It could be said that fake vaginas are going to take over the world, but that’s only possible if the real thing becomes completely unavailable. Although many of today’s best male sex toys offer some amazing sensations and provide lots of incredible user-friendliness, there’s still a long way to go before men swap their lovers for a hunk of plastic. It looks like we’ll have to keep buying dinner to get laid, boys.

A Few Tips from the Pros: Jumping on the Sex Toy Bandwagon

Getting your feet wet isn’t as difficult as I’ve made it sound. Yes, there are tons of options out there. Yes, not everything is made the same (even if it looks similar to something else). Yes, you’ll probably have to undergo some trial and error before you find the sex toy that’s right for you. And while all of those things seem overwhelming at first, try to keep in mind the pleasure you’ll derive from your search. After all, this isn’t like shopping for the best health insurance plan or anything; you might actually enjoy yourself.

It’s truly not hard to jump on the bandwagon here, especially if you take the time to read a few reviews and/or check out some buying guides which will help you to select the top rated sex toys for men. You see, men got sick of fucking tube socks a long time ago, and those same men have created an enormous industry around busting the best nut. So, while there may be too many options to digest at once, try to remember this: there was once a day when men like you and me had no other choice than to take what we could get or go without.

It can be said that the male human being is perhaps the horniest of all species on Earth. The average guy thinks about sex at least nine hundred times per day, according to studies which surveyed tons of men who weren’t being completely honest. Those figures are likely much higher, which is why there are so many sex machines on the market these days.

What Is a Sex Machine? HINT: It’s not your weird uncle after a few gin and tonics.

Don’t be one of the lame guys who has no clue what a male sex machine is. Although it probably won’t come up in casual conversation, it’s definitely something you want to know. This isn’t “rocket surgery,” fellas. Here, let me break it down for you:

Put as simply as humanly possible, a sex machine is a man-made self-pleasure device. It’s uniquely designed to produce orgasmic sensations to the human body through either manual or automatic movements. Made from a wide variety of materials and having a large range of features, there are no two identical sex machines on the modern market.

With that said, it can be tough for a noob to find a decent device. Dubbed “sex toys” by the majority of the population, these things are often pricey and high-tech. In other words, buying a new sex toy is strictly business. Because of that, many sex machine manufacturers do everything in their power to capture the consumer’s attention. I don’t want to say this twice: buyer beware.

One way that you can avoid getting ripped off is by familiarizing yourself with what’s out there. Understand your body too and get to know the things that turn you on (or off). Fortunately, there are enough sex machines on today’s shelves to appease every taste under the sun. If you can’t find something worth your while, you’re probably not doing it right.

The Main Features of a Modern-Day Male Sex Machine

Back in the day, you’d be hard-pressed to find a decent sex machine for men no matter how hard you looked. It used to be that women were the only ones with self-pleasure tools, having actually been prescribed such devices by doctors to treat things like sexual frustration, insomnia and hysteria. As sad as that may be for the boys who were left out of the loop for so many years, it certainly speaks volumes about the importance of a satisfying orgasm.

That important discovery was definitely not overlooked by the gods of good sex. A few decades ago, brazen manufacturers began making self-pleasure machines for dudes using what they’d learned throughout history. What came next was nothing short of a miracle: tons of high-end male sex machines, each with a laundry list of its own fabulous features, started flooding the market.

But, before you head out for swim, let’s be sure to go over the basics, shall we? Now that we know what a sex machine is, let’s start understanding the main components you can expect to find. Keep in mind, however, that each of the components I’m about to mention will vary WIDELY depending on the maker.

1. The Hole

Perhaps the most definitive part of any male sex machine, the hole is where you shove your throbbing “tromboner” when it’s time to play. On good devices, the hole is shaped to resemble life-like genitalia (pussy or ass), and whether that be human-like or not is up to the user. Holes typically vary in size and tightness, so be sure to check the specs.

1. The Sleeve

Called a “sleeve” despite looking more like a sock, this part of any male sex machine features tantalizing textures and varying lengths. Many times, they’re removable for quick cleaning or even interchangeable with other sleeves from the same brand. My advice: stick with something simple until you figure out what you like.

1. The Casing

Equally as important as the hole and sleeve yet not exactly part of the pleasure package, the outer casing of any male sex machine holds everything together while making it ergonomically correct and suitable for the average male grip. You’ll see several shapes and sizes here, and while it may seem like an unimportant decision made purely in vanity, I urge you to reconsider.

1. The Instructions

Some of these modern-day male sex machines are surprisingly high-tech, with features that require a basic knowledge of the internet, Bluetooth and virtual reality. Fortunately, even the most simplistic sex toys come with a set of instructions. How easy those instructions are to follow is the real question.

1. The Storage

Regardless of what you buy, you’re going to have to find a place to put it when you’re all done. Some of the more luxurious devices come with handy-dandy storage pouches, but that’s not always the case. Make sure you get everything needed to stay discreet or you’ll be sorry. Don’t learn this lesson by having an awkward conversation with your roommates like I did.

Manual or Automatic: Which Is Better?

There is no right answer when it comes to the question of whether manual or automatic sex machines are better. Each one has its own benefits and drawbacks, so it’s really a matter of personal preference. All I can say is that you’re likely to get a few more performance enhancing options with an automatic machine. There, I said it.